Why I'm changing my money mindset and you should too.
Say it out loud.
This about it for a sec.
Did you laugh, smile, and think, "Wow! money is pretty cool!"?
Or did you cringe, shutter, and contemplate 🤔 clicking to another blog post?
If you’re anything like I was a mere month ago, you probably did all those things and also barfed in your mouth a little bit.
Oh common, you know I’m right!
So my dear friends, I decided to write you and tell you all about this because my guess is that you were number two.
Somewhere along the way one too many people told me that if I decided to be a singer that I was also signing up to be poor. And you know what? I believed them. Especially right after I got out of grad school. I couldn’t imagine a world in which I was making more than just enough to scrape by.
In fact, when I started making more than the poverty line I honestly couldn’t believe it. Then I move to DC, my rent almost doubled from what I was paying, in Baltimore and I didn't know how I was going to do it. When I made my career switch from serving to voice teaching I basically doubled my income, but somehow I still felt like I was poor....
It was my mindset. My complaining, lack, sorry for myself mindset.
Big surprise right? So after months of feeling sorry for myself and thinking there was no way I was ever going to make a good living in this world, I stumbled across a couple online entrepreneurs whose success stories told me that this wasn’t true. They were millionaires. All of them. In all different fields. They were coaches, online business mavens, singers, lawyers, photographers, and more!
The thing they all had in common was that they all had online businesses. Then I started reading more and more about this line of work and also self help books. I finally came across Jen Sincero's book "You are a badass at making money." Thanks to my roommate Emily who brought it home and had it waiting on the coffee table when I was lacking something to read. Honestly, at first I was scared to crack it open. I knew I was going to have to stare one of my deepest fears in the eyes and unpack it.
This book literally blew my mind. It taught me that because I had accepted what everyone told me about being a singer that I truly believed deep down in my subconscious that I didn’t deserve to have any money. Now this thought would never show up in my conscious mind which is what made it so elusive. OF course I wanted money! But since my subconscious was what holding me back... I didn’t think I deserved to let myself have money and guess what... I was never going to have any. So guys I want to give you four ways that you can make friends with money this week. Because Lord knows I wish somebody would have written this one for me.
1. We accept the money we think we deserve.
It's no different that the ability to love and accept love. If for some reason or another you think money is bad that means that you’re going to think you don’t deserve it. This is will perpetuate and you will self sabotage every time you come across more money than you usually have.
2. It isn’t a problem if money can solve it
Now when I heard this one I felt an extreme resistance--probably because I knew that it was true under all my old BS mindset ways. Real problems that we need to worry about in this world are are ones that we can’t sign away with a check. This includes health. Among another list of other very real problems (starvation, inequality, privilege, modern day slavery, clean water etc).
3. If you think about money in a lack mindset, you will never have enough.
Now I’m definitely starting to get a little "woo woo" here but if you made it this far, bear with me. Chances are you probably look at money from a lack of mindset. And that’s OK. Because most people do. You CAN master an abudance mindset with lots and lots of practice. I know personally after being in school for six years, by the time I finally finished I 100% had a lack mindset. I needed money to survive. And that’s really all I could think about. So imagine my surprise when I got into the real world not only are people making enough to vacation and have families but they’re also making enough to put into retirement accounts, savings, and donating to charities
The moment that we start looking at our mindset, life, and money in an abundance way of thinking, more will come into our life. Yes, this means you have to be thankful for what you have. I previously had it totally backwards. I thought that in order to motivate myself to get more, I had to keep a focus on what I didn't have.
Master coach Brook Castillo talks about "wanting what you already have," as a practice in abundance. The moment I started being thankful for the things in my life, the moment things started to shift and change and doors opened and opportunities knocked on my door.
4. In order to start this process, you have to get rid of all the money baggage you are carrying around with you
This means....forgiveness. Forgiving yourself and forgiving others. Forgive every idiot who ever told you you're going to be poor forever, every person who told you your mounting student loan debt would never be resolved, and most importantly-- yourself.
I'd give you my list, but I don't even remember whats on it because I already forgave all those people and myself.
Kathrin Zenkina suggests in her book "Unlease your inner money babe" to write it all on a list. Every single situation that you are still holding onto. It doesn't even have to be about money. Once you are done with it, read every thing again, allow yourself to feel those feelings. Then, say outloud, "I forgive you, I'm sorry, thank you, I love you..." At first I was so suspicious of this activity. But the results were astounding. I allowed myself to feel though those painful and ugly situations and was able to make peace with them. The next morning I was over the moon! Lighter and ready to move on. We think that holding onto grudges with help us not get hurt again but they just realllllly weigh us down. Sometimes you don't forgive for other people, you forgive for yourself.
Send me a quick note if this resonated with you. We got this!
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